


Pain

by shannyfish



Series: Summer of Supergirl 2016 [11]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: DEO - Freeform, Experiments, Gen, Super Soldiers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-08-11 11:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7888924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With villains working together against the DEO and heroes, it comes down to a question of who is the worst villain of them all?</p><p> </p><p>Summer of Supergirl prompt: You’re Kind of a Dick - Male Villains</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprising Characters

_ "Truly evil people don't just hurt others.  They take pride in the pain they cause and then try to blame their victims." _   
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You know, normally you come to me."   
  
"This time is different."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I didn't think you'd actually do what I wanted and that's just not acceptable."

 

Max stared at the general for a long moment and then took in all of the soldiers that surrounded both of them.  There was a different feeling now, different than their other moments of exchange.  "So, you lured me here...and now you're what?  Holding me hostage?"

 

"Let's not be so quick to jump to overreact, Lord," General Lane said with a smirk.  "I just need you to do something that you've already done."

 

"Then why did you think that I would refuse to do it?" Max asked in confusion.  If it was something that had already been done, why was it such a stretch that he'd do it again?  He and the general had a sort of arrangement that they both benefited from and so far...Max hadn't strayed from it.  

 

"I want super soldiers."

 

"I...don't do super soldiers," Max said slowly.  "It's never been a project--"

 

"Bizarro…"

 

"Bizarro  _ wasn't _ a super soldier."

 

"In my eyes,  _ she was _ ," the general stated.  "Your vision was just... _ limited _ ."

 

"So, what?  You want soldiers with super powers?" Max questioned.  "We have Supergirl and--"

 

"Supergirl, Superman, and J'onn J'onzz cannot be controlled by the army, they do as they wish...independent agents," General Lane said.  "Even if Supergirl sometimes works with the DEO...and the martian is running the damned DEO.  It's not the same."

 

"Bizarro had her flaws."

 

"You used a  _ comatose _ girl--"

 

"It was  _ necessary _ \--"

 

"I need to be able to issue orders," Lane said firmly and matter of factly.  "To be in  _ complete  _ control as I would be any soldier under my command."

 

"That's not exactly how it works--"

 

" _ Make it work that way _ ."

 

It was in that moment that Max realized that he really  _ was _ a prisoner.  "I don't know if that's possible, there's a  _ reason _ why I used comatose patients…"

 

"I just figured that it was because you didn't like them talking back and that you had a thing for Supergirl," Lane said with a shrug.

 

"The blonde hair and cheerleader do-gooder thing...not  _ exactly _ my type."

 

"Let's be honest, you're not  _ that _ picky."   
  
Max shoved his hands in his pockets.  "You obviously don't know me as well as you  _ think _ , General."

 

" _ Actually _ , I think I know you fairly well," the general said as he took a step towards him.  

 

"I doubt that," Max said with a smile.  He didn't really feel like there was anyone in the world who really knew him.  People just saw him as this rich guy who did science...and who just wanted to get richer.  That really wasn't all there was to him.  Max actually was a very lonely person, it didn't come with just being rich but with the level of intelligence that he possessed and a fear of letting people close only to lose them.  

 

"Make me my super soldiers, Lord."

 

" _ No _ ."

 

"Fine, I'll kill the  _ only _ person in the world you seem to care about," General Lane stated with a shrug.

 

Max smirked.  "And who would that be?"   
  
Lane didn't have to say anything though, it was a monitor which switched to a cell somewhere (likely on the base they were on) that was suddenly filling with some kind of gas.  At first, Max didn't see anyone or anything except the glass and the gas.  Soon, though, he heard a panicked voice and then her face came into view. 

 

"Shut it down," Max said evenly, his smirk falling.  

 

No one did anything.

 

He watched in horror as she screamed and slammed on the glass, coughed and doubled over.  Sure, he'd flirted and he'd enjoyed their banter...but he'd never thought of her seriously--   
  
Alex Danvers.

 

Lane had the balls to go over one of Henshaw's DEO agents, even  _ he _ knew that was over the line.  Max knew that Lane really had to want those modified soldiers if he was going to these lengths.  Max just hoped that General Lane didn't know that Alex Danvers was also Supergirl's sister.  He'd protected that secret, he wasn't entirely sure why...it was more to show Alex that he had some honor...and maybe--

 

"Stop it!" Max shouted now as he turned to Lane.  "You let her die, you won't get your super soldiers," he finally said.  

 

"See?  That wasn't that difficult," Lane said with a smirk.  

 

Max turned to the screen to see that Alex was on the floor, seemingly unconscious, and the gas seemed to be dissipating.  "Where is she?!"

 

"She'll be fine."

 

"Where.  Is.  She?" he asked slowly and angrily.

 

"Calm down, Lord.  She's in one of our cells," Lane said, brushing off Lord's anger.  "She'll just be out for an hour or so...just needs some fresh air…"

 

"I want to see her."

 

"After you get to work."

 

"No, _ now _ ."

 

"And here I thought you didn't think that there was anyone in your life that you cared about…" Lane poked.  He leaned in.  "I guess I know your weaknesses better than you do."

 

"I just don't want the DEO after me…  Henshaw and his people will go to any lengths, especially when it comes to an agent," Lord said.  Max knew that that was true, but he also knew that Lane was right.  Deep down, he cared about Alex and deep down he just hadn't wanted to see her suffer or hurt.  He hated, however, that she'd been used against him.  Weakness wasn't something that Max liked to have or to admit to.

 

"Fine," Lane said with a shrug.  "Go check on your sleeping beauty."  

 

Max watched as Lane signaled his men.  He was glad that he wasn't going to have to fight him on this, but it still was grinding his gears.  "You're kind of a dick," Max spat as evenly as he could in the situation.  All he wanted to do in that moment was kill the other man.  "And that's saying _ a lot  _ when it's coming from me."  He wanted to do more, but right now...Lane was the one in power and he wasn't.  If he wanted Alex Danvers to live, he needed to play nicely and play along.  The only problem with that was that Max didn't like to do either, especially when it came to him not being in charge.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


He tried not to rush as they walked, he tried to keep calm and collected.  Even though the general had to know that he had an upper hand over him with Alex Danvers, that didn't mean that he needed to act like he really had a complete hold over him.  Max kept his eyes open as they walked, looking for anything that could be used later for him to escape or even to contact the outside world.  He wasn't one to normally initiate contact with the DEO, but this was obviously one time where he needed them to step in (for Alex's sake if for no one else's).  If Lane was willing to go this far, then he had to be desperate.

 

They came upon the cell and Alex was still on the floor unconscious.  The guards just stood there.  Max motioned to the door, waiting for them to open it so that he could check on her himself.  He wondered if the idiots realized that it was possible that she could be lying dead in there after having some kind of allergic reaction to whatever Lane had ordered be pumped into the cell.     
  
"The general didn't order that we allow you  _ in _ , Mr. Lord," one of the guards said.  

 

" _ Doctor _ ," he corrected.  It wasn't something that he often did, but he was pissed and moved to the glass.  He could tell that she was alive, could see her even breathing.  He took in the fact that she was wearing civilian attire, jeans and a dark olive colored shirt, rather than the normal black she wore for DEO business.  

 

"Just that you were to see her.  You can see her from here," the guard continued.  

 

He looked over his shoulder at the drones that Lane had sent down with him.  "Well, you can tell General Lane that I need to be in there with her to check on her, to talk to her, and that I might very well  _ need _ her."

 

"Oh,  _ you will _ ," one of the other guards spoke up.  "General Lane has ordered that as soon as Ms. Danvers--"

 

"She's a freaking DEO agent and  _ doctor _ !" Max found himself snapping.  He knew that it didn't matter to them, but he was beyond livid in that moment.  They were treating Alex Danvers like she was some fragile, empty-headed, and defenseless princess in some castle.  They didn't know who they'd kidnapped and they didn't realize the wrath that was destined to rain down on them.  The cavalry would be coming to storm the castle...

 

The guards just stared at him.  "You will both be taken to one of the laboratories where you can conduct your experiment soon enough."

 

Max realized that the general had to be watching him, listening in, and speaking to his minions in some kind of earpiece.  He didn't care.  He didn't want to be used as a pawn and he didn't want to be manipulated.  If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right.  "I assume everything I need will be there?" he questioned, trying to remain calm.  If they were moving them both together, then he'd be able to check on Alex soon enough himself.  

 

"Yes," one responded.

 

"And who is supposed to be the soldier that I am to make...super?"

 

Both guards were quiet for a long moment.  A voice came from the end of the hall, a familiar one, but somehow it wasn't as familiar as he remembered.  It was harsh and seemed to bark.  "We have an entire list of soldiers who are willing to be part of this program, Mr. Lord, but we cannot risk their safety as a guinea pig in your initial calibration of the procedure."  The man was dressed all in black, which only made it more familiar.  He carried himself differently, though.  It was all slight, but there was something almost chilling about the man before him.  

 

"Director Henshaw?" he questioned.   
  
Even though Max knew the man's true nature as a Green Martian and J'onn J'onzz, he was far too used to his more familiar form and name and rank.  Director Hank Henshaw of the Department of Extra-Normal Operations.  One thing that Max knew well enough was that both Danvers sisters, but especially Alex, trusted the DEO director and now he was standing before him mixed up in all of this.  The thing was, he obviously didn't seem to be forced into things.  Was this some kind of cover?  Was this something he was in on?  With Alex?  The guards weren't interrupting him and they were letting him talk and he seemed to be saying the things that Max had been waiting for Lane to relay through his drones.  He'd been around the man, seen him around Alex to know that he cared about Alex more than a boss should.  They were more than friends, more like family.  He would never allow this--   
  
"We haven't actually gotten the chance to meet, Mr. Lord," Henshaw said as he closed the distance between them.  His voice was gruff and Max kept picking up on subtle differences between the man before him and the man he was used to working with.  "My name is Hank Henshaw...I used to be the director of the DEO before a shapeshifting alien left me for dead and took over my life," he said as he held out a hand.  "Luckily, people were able to keep me on the verge of life long enough for them to bring me back...make me better...stronger…"

 

That sounded ominous, Max thought as he shook the man's hand without much thought.

 

"Who am I supposed to turn into a super soldier, if not one of your men?  Or the general's men?" he asked, trying to get as much information as possible.  His head was spinning and everything suddenly seemed so much bigger than himself and so much bigger than General Lane.  There were obviously more players at work here than he had first realized.  He just had to make them think that they could trust him, even if it was only a little bit.

 

"Alexandra Danvers."

 

Alex.

 

His head turned to her unconscious form and he just sucked in a breath.

 

"I recruited her father over a decade ago, threatened him in order to get him to work with us…" Henshaw told him as their hands dropped away from each other.  "I should have just gone into that house with a team and taken the entire family."  This Henshaw was obviously a lot different than the one that he was used to, the alien shapeshifter version obviously cared about Alex and her sister.  "Forced Jeremiah and Eliza Danvers into working for me, sent the Kryptonian off to Cadmus, and locked this one up in a cell to use as leverage."

 

"You...you're why Alex said she lost her father…" he stated, more than questioning it.  

 

"Don't be  _ so dramatic _ , Mr. Lord…  Jeremiah Danvers might have been dead to the world for the last eleven years, but he's not quite--"

 

"What is he?" Max pushed.  " _ Mostly _ dead?"

 

Henshaw seemed to smirk at that.  "Something like that."

 

"So, I'm just supposed to experiment on Alex?"

 

"Do you have a problem with that?"

 

"Several," Max replied evenly and matter of factly.

 

"I'd suggest you get over them.  Don't think that I haven't read the file that General Lane has compiled about you," Henshaw said darkly.  "I know the things you've done.  What you're capable of and what you're responsible for.  Your ability to be seduced into being a do-gooder every other month for all of ten seconds, you're just like us, Mr. Lord."

 

Max glared at him, not sure if he wanted Henshaw to be right or wrong.  "If I refuse?"

 

"You really want to be responsible for killing Ms. Danvers?" Henshaw asked with a smirk.

 

It was beyond creepy.  

 

"Oh, perhaps something else will sway your ability to do as you're asked," Henshaw said as he motioned to the soldiers.  Another cell was revealed, the wall lifting and revealing a translucent one just like the cell that Alex was currently unconscious in.  

 

"Oh for the love of everything," Max muttered as he realized who it was.

 

"I believe you're familiar with Ms. Danvers' mother…  It's practically a family reunion, Mr. Lord...now, do you really want to have her watch her only daughter die in front of her before I have her killed too?" Henshaw asked coldly, a smirk still firmly in place.

 

He knew that he had no choice.

 

Max knew that at least for now, he was going to have to do what they asked.  Just because they wanted a super soldier that they could control didn't mean that he needed to work quickly.  With Eliza there, Max knew that even Alex would agree to having anything done to her...in order to save her mother.  Alex Danvers was too good for that world, he realized.  "I'll do it."

 

"No more games?  Or demands?"

 

"I mean, I might require things," Max said with a shrug.  He refused to act as though they'd completely beaten him.  "So...that might fall into the demand category."

 

"I consider those requests."

 

"Requesting isn't really in my vocabulary."

 

"You'll learn," Henshaw said before motioning to the guards.  

 

In one swift movement, cells were open and they were all shoved into the cell that Alex was still unconscious in.  Max watched them go as the cell was closed, watching Eliza move to her daughter out of her the corner of his eye.  He still couldn't believe this.  It was like they'd gone through to some twisted mirror universe.  

 

"Alex...Alexandra, Sweetie...open your eyes," Eliza begged.

 

He finally turned to them.  Max had always liked Alex, she challenged him and was intelligent (that was on top of her beauty).  "She's going to be okay, they pumped gas in here.  She'll just be unconscious for a little bit," Max said as calmly as he could.  The last thing that he needed was for Eliza to be hysterical.  

 

"Why would he do that?  He cares about Alex--"

 

"That wasn't the Henshaw we all know and tolerate," Max said.  "That was like his evil twin.  Something about how he was dead...and then not dead...and some alien took over his life.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but I like his alien counterpart so much more all of the sudden…"

 

"What do you mean?  Henshaw, the _ real  _ Hank Henshaw...he died in Peru eleven years ago…"

 

"Someone's got a lazarus pit stashed away somewhere," Max mumbled.  "Apparently they brought him back to life and maybe made him more evil."

 

"He was already evil to begin with," Eliza said as she moved towards him.  "I just don't understand why they brought us here…"

 

"Well, I can tell you that they're likely trying to get the attention of Supergirl and the DEO by taking both you and Alex.  They won't stop until they find you both," Max explained.  "But that's not the worst of it."

 

"And what is?"

 

He looked at her and he could see where Alex got so much of herself from.  She was so lucky to have her mother and apparently her father was out there somewhere too.  He thought for a moment if he should tell her, but then Max remembered that they had told him that Eliza would be able to help him.  They were right, he'd looked into Eliza Danvers after he'd met Alex (well, he'd looked into Alex's entire world actually).  He knew that Alex had taken after her parents and that her mother was a brilliant scientist as well.  "They want me to make super soldiers.  Basically, they want Supergirl's power set...but in soldiers that will answer to military orders."

 

"Didn't you already do that?  I remember the girls telling me about--"

 

Max waved a hand.  "Something similar...yes...but I was using coma--"

 

"You do realize that you're not making things better for yourself, right?"

 

Sighing, he covered his face with his hand.  "He wants me to use Alex as my first test subject, before I use it on soldiers."

 

"What?" Eliza breathed.  "No, you can't--"

 

"I don't want to, but I also don't want you two dead because I defied them," Max explained.  He paused for a moment.  "And Alex will volunteer as soon as she wakes and realizes that it's the only way to keep you safe."

 

"You can't--"

 

"Believe me, I don't  _ want _ to, but it's going to be the only way," Max told her.  He'd already thought about doing it to himself, but he also knew that as familiar Alex had to be with her sister's physiology, he knew the Bizarro process.  

 

Eliza moved towards him and he suddenly felt threatened.  "You will  _ stall  _ and put off doing _ anything _ to  _ my daughter _ for as long as possible--"  

 

"Wow," Max mumbled.  "I didn't realize that Alex had so much in common with her mother…"  He looked from Eliza to Alex's unconscious form.  "How how arousing being threatened by a Danvers is…"

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"Oh," Max muttered.  "I said that out loud?"  He looked over at Eliza.  "Nothing.  Nothing."  

 

"You're not good enough for her."

 

"Believe me, pretty much everyone tells me the exact opposite," Max told her honestly.  Most of the women he'd been with, though, had been ditzy and all over him because of his money.  Alex, though, was different.  Of course, her original pursuit of him had been about her job and aliens and protecting him.  "But you're right.  Alex is amazing and brilliant and deserves so much better."

 

"Are you trying to win yourself points?"

 

"All the time," Max said with a shrug.  "It's like a reflex."  That obviously wasn't winning him any points.  "But honestly, I meant what I said."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	2. Secrets

"Kara?" came her worried weak whisper.

 

Max turned towards Alex, but remained in place and just watched Eliza go to her daughter's side.  He knew that this was his fault for them being there.  This was where attachments of any kind led.  He'd found Alex interesting in a lot of ways, her mind and the way that she challenged him were the main things that had drawn him to her.  

 

"She's safe, Sweetie," Eliza whispered.  "She's safe."

 

He just stood there and listened.  He realized that Alex's constant worrying about her sister, who was an alien and who was more than capable of taking care of herself, that big heart was something that drew him to her.  The Danvers seemed to have this beautiful family bond...they were a family even when they weren't together and even when that family comprised of other members that shared no blood with them.  It was something that Max didn't have.  It was something that he couldn't buy, it was only something earned...and he didn't think he'd ever earn a place in a family like that.  

 

"Mom?" Alex whispered and he could see her stirring.  "Where--"

 

"Listen to me, Alex," her mother said firmly and seriously.  "I want you to promise me something.  Promise me that no matter what they say--"

 

"What's going on?" Alex asked worriedly and she moved quickly until she was sitting up.  "Where are we?"  When her head turned in his direction, he just held up a hand for a small wave.  "Max--"

 

"Before you slam my head or body into something, let me just say that this time...this wasn't my doing," Max said quickly as he held his hands up in defense.  "I was tricked…"

 

"By who?" Alex questioned as she got to her feet and started to move towards him.

 

" _ Alex _ ," her mother tried, but Alex ignored her.

 

"Well, first I thought that General Lane was the man in charge...but it looks like he's not the one calling the shots," Max told her.  "Henshaw is."

 

"What?" Alex spat out, obviously that had caught her at as much surprise as it had gotten him.

 

"Yeah, well apparently he's like some possibly zombie super evil version," Max tried to vaguely explain.  "He hates your entire family from the sound of things.  He also is making me like the cape wearing aliens more and more…"

 

He could tell that she was trying to understand and take in what he was saying.  It was a lot to take in and from what he knew, Alex had already dealt with a lot (including almost dying and almost losing her sister, she'd also gone out into space in an alien spaceship).  

 

"But why us?" 

 

Eliza obviously had been hoping to get her daughter to listen to her before they got to this part.  The thing was that the two Danvers women were a lot alike, whether they saw it or liked it.  "Sorry, Eliza, but she's got to know and there's no way around it--"

 

Eliza immediately came at him with a threat and an accusing finger.  "You touch my daughter--"

 

"Tell me what is going on now," Alex ground out dangerously, her hands flaring out in both directions and standing as a barrier between him and her mother.  "All of it.  Nothing held back."

 

"Alex--"

 

" _ I mean it _ ," she said and was suddenly looking right at him.

 

"They want a super soldier," Max said.  "But they want one that's a soldier that has super powers."

 

"Like Bizarro?"

 

"Yeah, except they won't let me use one of their soldiers to test anything I come up," he went on.  He was going to be completely honest.  She'd know if he were lying.  "Henshaw wants me to make  _ you _ into a super soldier.  To prove to him that it will work on their soldiers."

 

"Well, that's...different," Alex blurted out.  It was obviously not what she'd expected to hear.  "They aren't afraid of me punching them in the face with my super strength?" she put out there, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

 

He smirked at that.  "I don't think they realize who they're messing with…"

 

"But he's not going to do anything to you," Eliza spoke up, moving to Alex.  Her voice was full of concern and worry, understandably.  "He's going to stall--"

 

"He's going to need our help," Alex said gently.

 

"No."

 

"Mom, it has to look like progress...no matter what happens--"

 

"Alex--"

 

"You've  _ always _ protected us.  Me and Kara.  The truth is, we're strong because of you...but you can't always keep protecting us... _ protecting me _ ," Alex told her mother.  Her hands on her mother's shoulders and her voice as gentle as he'd ever heard.  "If this is what we have to do, then it's  _ okay _ …  It's going to take _ time _ .  We  _ have  _ that time.  I mean, he used comatose patients for a reason."

 

"Which I have tried to explain," Max spoke up.

 

"Maybe we could start with the super healing," Alex tried to lighten up the mood.  "I'd like to  _ not  _ have to tape ice packs to my injured limbs after missions...or flying…then I could keep up with Kara and J'onn."

 

"Alex," Eliza seemed to plead with her daughter.

 

"If we don't help Max.  If there's no progress.  They'll kill us.  It won't be all together.  They'll separate us.  They'll threaten us.  They'll do what they did to me.  They locked me in a room and used gas--"

 

"Until I told them I'd help them," Max interrupted.

 

Alex just stared at him for a moment.  "We have to.  Right now, it's the only thing that's keeping us alive."

 

He waited a moment, anticipating her mother to say something.  Eliza remained quiet, which really bothered Max more than he expected.  "So, I was thinking...maybe you're right.  Trying to figure out how to make it work, ability by ability."

 

"Right," Alex said.  "Because maybe we want to focus on one specific ability first--"

 

"Because even though super healing sounds great, it could be dangerous in the wrong hands," Eliza Danvers said after a sigh.  "Imagine being tortured continuously and your body healing you the entire time."

 

"Well, let's see if they take us to a lab now that everyone's conscious," Max said.  He wasn't sure what to think or how to feel about it all.  He didn't want to harm Alex or Eliza, but he also wasn't sure that what was being asked of them could actually be achieved.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You're sure?"

 

"No."

 

"Alex--"

 

"Just do it."

 

"Your mother is going to kill me," Max stated in a whisper as the syringe was pushed into his hand.  He actually wasn't certain that he really wanted to do it either.  What if it didn't work?  What if something went wrong?  There were so many variables to consider.  They hadn't been at it long and to jump so quickly to this--

 

"You're going to need to prime my system--"

 

"We don't have to do it now," he pushed.  "They haven't come in yet--"

 

"Max, I'm  _ trusting you _ right now," Alex said gently.  He watched as she glanced over at her mother, who was deeply enthralled with a slide under a scope.  "She'll think that she can be the one to do this, to protect me, but--"

 

"What are you two doing over there?"

 

Caught.

 

Alex had already rolled up her sleeve and had the rubber tourniquet in place and was positioned so her mother couldn't see what they were doing.  Her mouth started to open, as if she were going to plead with him, but he stopped her.

 

With one quick glance down, he ensured that the needle was lined up with a vein and the cap was moved aside, his fingers keeping it steady.  Max leaned forward, holding Alex still, and pressed a kiss to her lips.  He knew that he was catching her by surprise, but he needed to do  _ something _ .  Eliza wouldn't just take their word for it that they were just talking...and she'd be right not to.  With Alex injected with the primer, he pushed the cap back into place and dropped the syringe into her lab pocket before moving to remove the tourniquet.  Max found himself suddenly glad about the lab coats provided, but more so...he was having a hard time keeping himself from becoming lost in the kiss.

 

It was a distraction.

 

That's what he kept telling himself.

 

"Alex," he whispered against her lips before pulling back.  What came next, surprised him just for a moment.  Alex's hand came across his face, it wasn't hard, but it was enough.  It was a show.  Or at least, that's what he told himself.  It was worth it, the kiss...he wasn't sure about the injection and going behind Eliza's back just yet.  Max reached up and rubbed at his jawline for a moment, watching as Alex went over and joined her mother on the other side of the lab they'd been given.  

 

There were some long moments of quiet tension between the three of them and Max kept his distance.

 

"We still have to figure out what order to attempt creating the powers," Alex finally spoke up.

 

"As much as I'd really rather doing the healing as the initial one, I agree with you both that we are better to hold off on that one," Eliza spoke up and he didn't miss the glares in his direction.  "Flying might be the best one."

 

"Flying or strength," Alex agreed.

 

"Flying, strength, hearing, x-ray vision, healing, frost breath, and laser eyes," Max said slowly.  "If we can manage the x-ray vision and laser eyes separately."

 

"Let's hope that we don't get that far," Eliza snapped.  

 

At least the lab was a full sized lab and there was enough room for them all to move around and have their separate stations.  That made it easier.  Eliza Danvers could hate him all she wanted...from the other side of the room.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"This would be easier if they had more than just Bizarro's structure," Alex commented.  

 

"I could probably hack into my own system from here, but--"

 

"No," Alex vetoed.  "It would open Pandora's Box...we can't have that.  It's too dangerous.  We'll just have to work with what we have."

 

He could tell that as frustrating as it was for all of them, there was obviously more frustration in trying to complete a project without having all the pieces.  There was so much at stake and they had no idea when Lane or Henshaw would stroll in and demand progress.  Max still didn't want to do this and he was having a harder time knowing that Alex had the primer in her system.  It had to be done, he knew that, but it was still nerve wracking.  What if something happened?  What if they didn't even need to jump to that step until later?  He was certain that Alex had some kind of justification as to why she wanted it done then, other than her mother possibly trying to step in in her place, but they really didn't have the time or privacy to get into it.     
  
Time passed and they were all quietly working on their own separate attempts.  It was a good idea, it kept things from getting heated or frustrating if someone wasn't on the same page...but it also made time pass more slowly, Max thought.  

 

"Dad would have figured this out," Alex said in a frustrated tone and turned away from her station.

 

Max looked over at them, since Eliza was now there talking quietly to her daughter.  The first thing that caught his attention was sweat.  The second was her pallor, he swore that it was paler than before.  Moving to where water bottles had been lined up, he discarded his gloves and grabbed one.  He could endure the wrath of Eliza if it meant that Alex got the water.  His worry was raised, though, knowing that the primer was in Alex's system and that was likely what was causing the symptoms.  He mentally calculated how many long had passed since he'd injected her and how far through her body the primer would be...exactly what biological systems were affected--

 

"Alex," he heard Eliza call worriedly.  

 

"I just need to sit," Alex responded by with a wave of her hand.  

 

She was walking towards him and Max was already taking in all the different changes in her face as she did.  He pushed the water into her hands and then guided her to one of the chairs.  "Talk to me," he whispered before his eyes darted up to check Eliza's position.  She was looking on with concern and Max was certain that she seemed hurt because Alex had gone to him.  

 

"It's probably just low blood sugar," Alex waved off before sipping the water.  "I just need to eat something."

 

"Symptoms?" he demanded quietly.  Even though Max knew that she could be very well correct, he still didn't want to take any chances that it might be something else...something more serious.  

 

"Overheating, headache, light headed, dizzy, nauseous…"

 

"Alex--"

 

"It's  _ not _ ," Alex insisted.  "And if it is my body reacting it--"

 

She stilled and her eyes squeezed shut.  For an instant, Max was certain that she was in pain.  If there was a problem with the primer, it really should have presented immediately after injection, but if her body was fighting it--

 

"Alex," he whispered as he knelt down in front of her, his hands on her arms.  Now, he could see that her mother was visibly nervous about what was going on and was moving towards them.  They choose that moment to enter the lab, the lab door slamming against the wall.  A loud boom echoing through the lab.  Max immediately got back to his feet, not wanting to bring attention to Alex even though he was certain that they had to be monitoring them from somewhere else.  

 

"Tell us you have made some progress," General Lane said.  His men filled into the lab, armed and ready for anything apparently.  Henshaw strode in a moment after, looking like a man on a mission.

 

Max watched them and thought about what to say.  He knew that he needed to tread carefully.  He couldn't put Alex and/or Eliza in danger.  He especially didn't want there to be anything that would cause Alex to be removed from the room when he needed to keep a close eye on her.  "We're getting close to determining to how to implement--"

 

"So, that's a  _ no _ ," Henshaw said firmly.   

 

His eyes shifted to Eliza momentarily before looking back to Henshaw and Lane.  Max slowly moved towards them.  "It's harder working from the Bizarro genome rather than using Supergirl's as a reference.  It would be easier--"

 

"But it's not impossible."

 

A beat passed.  " _ No _ ," Max said with a slight nod.  "But it does make it a  _ slower _ process…"

 

"You have both Danvers--"

 

"I don't have everything I used in my lab at--"

 

"What's wrong with her?"

 

Everyone's attention turned to Alex suddenly and Max felt the need to step up his protection of her.  He had already placed himself in between Alex and the others, but now they were looking at her and seeing that she didn't seem well.  They were right, but he knew he couldn't allow them to think more of it.  "She hasn't eaten," Max said.  "None of us are feeling super right now."  He paused.  "Low blood sugar.  I was just going to knock on the door and request meals right before you came in here."

 

"That's all?" Henshaw questioned.

 

"That's all," Alex echoed, grumpy and angry all swirled together.

 

Her voice caught his attention and he looked over to see that she was standing and glaring very much in Henshaw's direction.  She probably wasn't pleased with the fact that he was alive or that his face was one she was used to looking at...but knew that he was a very different man.  "I mean, I'd prefer a burger...but--"

 

"I expect results," Henshaw pushed as he took a step closer to Max.

 

He didn't back down.  Max knew that he couldn't and he wouldn't show weakness or cowardice in that instance.  "You'll get them, it's just going to take a little longer."

 

"Don't play  _ me _ , Lord."

 

"You've already proven that you will go to any lengths to get me to comply, why would you think that I'd agree knowing what you could do...only to back out later on?" Max challenged.  "You'll have your super soldiers, but there are things we require and you have to understand that science is a tricky thing…it's not some light switch or something you can merely  _ will  _ into immediate existence."

 

Henshaw didn't reply, but he moved closer to Max and then passed him.  It took everything in Max, not to reach out and grab the other man.  Max, moved, though so that Henshaw was in his sight the entire time.  He knew in that moment what the other man was doing, he was moving towards Alex.  Max knew that he couldn't protect her in that moment, that he just had to hope that Henshaw would accept what was said and leave them alone.  He'd still try to intervene if Henshaw acted against Alex.  

 

"You look ill, Ms. Danvers," Henshaw noted.

 

"Doctor...or  _ Agent _ ," she spoke firmly.  Max couldn't help, but smirk at her defiance and insistence upon the titles that she deserved to be addressed by.

 

"You remind me so much...of your father," Henshaw said in amusement and was obviously baiting her.  

 

He could see the fire blazing behind both of the Danvers women's eyes.  Max was certain that this was what Henshaw wanted.  He was pushing on purpose.  Max held his breath, hoping that the women were as strong as he knew they were and able to resist Henshaw's prodding.  Alex's face was fierce and Max knew that even with whatever Alex was feeling, she'd put up a fight and she'd knock the crap out of Henshaw.  

 

"Fine, you have another hour," Henshaw announced.

 

"An hour?" Max echoed.  "Science--"

 

"Don't think that I'm stupid Mr. Lord.  I know exactly what the three of you are capable of when it comes to science," Henshaw told him point blank.  "The general might fall for your tricks, but I will not be deceived.  Get it done."

 

"An hour won't get you a full super soldier," Max said and he was being honest.  "It might get you a singular ability--"

 

Henshaw moved closer, until Max could feel the spit from his speaking.  "Then get me that ability, Lord!  Don't play me!  You're working for me!  You get your priorities straight!  You cooperate or there will be consequences!  Consequences that will make the general gassing Alexandra Danvers look like nothing!"

 

He was evil.

 

He was human.

 

Max was furious.  It wasn't just because of Henshaw's words, but that he was changing everything that he'd always believed.  Max had thought that aliens were the greater threat, even though academically he knew that there were bigger evils in this world (past, present, and future) that humans were responsible for.  But all he could see was this demon Henshaw...and think of J'onn J'onzz who was the Henshaw he was used to dealing with.  The difference in them.  The priorities.  The--

 

"Am I clear?!"

 

Tick.

 

Tick.

 

Tick.

 

"Yes," Max finally let out a breath.  

 

Henshaw smirked in response, whether it was because he felt like he won or whether it was just because he'd made Max feel slightly defeated (even though he was trying not to completely show that).  "One hour," he repeated.  "You can surprise me with the ability."  

 

And with that, they were gone.  

 

He waited a breath after the door was shut to turn to Alex and Eliza.  Alex had both hands on the counter, her head down, and her back was slouched.  Eliza was right there at her side, even more worried than before.  "Alex?"

 

Alex spoke, weak and quiet.  "My immune system could be fighting the primer--"

 

"Alexandra!" Eliza scolded and gasped simultaneously.

 

"It shouldn't have taken this long to affect you though," Max said as he moved towards her.  He ignored Eliza for the time being.  "It should have only taken a minute for the primer to circulate through your body and after that--"

 

"What kind of primer?"

 

They both went silent.

 

Max turned his attention to Eliza.  She was there for a reason besides being a Danvers.  Alex had followed in Eliza and Jeremiah Danvers' footsteps after all.  "So that we could attach--"

 

"Her body's probably rejecting the primer from like a transplanted organ," Eliza said matter of factly.  "Did you program it so that her cells wouldn't attack it...that it would think that it was part of Alex's original--"

 

"No," Max breathed.  How stupid.  He knew that that was something that he should have thought of.  Alex should have too.  There had just been so much going on.  Science was never perfect, but it especially wasn't perfect under the conditions they were experiencing.  "Damn--"

 

"We have to figure out a way to wash it from her system--"

 

"We don't have time for that," Alex breathed.  He watched her.  She wasn't going to last much longer if they didn't do something.  "We just have to retrain the primer--"

 

"Retain," Max repeated.  "Nanites…  We need nanites."

 

"I don't think they have those here," Eliza said.  

 

"No, but I have those back at Lord Tech--"

 

Before he could finish his sentence, Alex was falling, both he and Eliza moved to ease her fall.  Unconscious, but breathing.  They didn't have much time, which meant that they were going to have to act quick and have a Plan B (just in case).  

 

"Alex?" Eliza whispered helplessly.  

 

Max got to his feet and moved to the door.  He needed some things.  He doubted that they were going to like this, but they needed to do it anyways.  He knocked on the door and just prayed that General Lane and Henshaw would be in a good enough mood to let him either go to his company to retrieve what they really needed or someone could have it prepared to be picked up.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  


 

TBC…

  
  



	3. Inner War

A scream echoed through her head and her whole body seemed to burn.  Alex felt like she was floating on sludge, but her head felt like it was weighing her down...so heavy...so much pressure.  

 

"Alex."

 

Her name.

 

The voice...it wasn't until it came again that she realized that it was her mother's voice.  It was almost like a mantra.  Alex used all of her energy to push her eyes open, but it wasn't much.  Everything was blurred and she didn't really feel like she had that much control over her body.  

 

"Mom?" she breathed.  

 

"Stay with us, Sweetie," Eliza said.  

 

She was blurred, but Alex knew that it was her mother hovering over her.  "I'm sorry…" she tried to get out.  Her own voice didn't make it to her ears and she didn't know if that was because the words didn't come out or if she just couldn't completely hear.  

 

If she thought hard enough, she remembered everything that had happened.  The science.  It was clear to her as to why she was in the state she was in, it was her own damn fault.  She'd needed to be the one to do it.  She'd needed to keep her mom safe--

 

"Alex, look at me."

 

And she realized she'd closed her eyes at one point.  Forcing her eyes open again, she blinked several times trying to clear her vision, but it was still blurry.  Alex kept blinking, trying to focus on her mother.  She had questions and she had things that needed to be said...but she didn't feel like she could say anything.  Her chest was heavy and her throat felt tight.  

 

"Max is trying to help, but--"

 

"Alex, we're trying something," Max spoke up and Alex swore that he was the other blur that came into view.  "I need you to answer some questions and I know it might be difficult to speak, but I need you to help us anyways.  Can you do that?  Blink once for yes and twice for no."

 

She blinked once.

 

"Good," he said after a moment.  "Do you hurt?"

 

Blink.

 

"Is it more than you can handle?"

 

Blink.  Blink.

 

"Can you breathe okay?"

 

Blink.

 

It was mostly true anyways.  Breathing wasn't difficult, there was just weight…  Alex could handle it...and the pain.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The words were slowly shaping up to actual words...actual chunks...actual sentences...and there was so much shouting.  Alex covered her eyes and squeezed her eyes, scrunching up her face in the process.  At first, Alex was convinced that she had super hearing and this was the pain that Kara had to have gone through when she'd first landed on Earth...but then everything seemed to normalize.  In that moment, she realized that even though her head was pounding...she was sensitive to the light as well...it was suddenly more likely that it was just a migraine.  

 

Turning her head, she watched as her mother and Max argued, quite loudly with large gestures.  She could hear the whole thing even with her ears still covered.  She had no idea how long she'd been unconscious or what had happened in that time, just that now her mother and Max were having it out and she was caught in the middle of it all.

 

"You only care about  _ yourself _ !  You don't care about Alex or you wouldn't have done what you did!"

 

"You can say what  _ you think _ all you want, Doctor Danvers!  I'm doing what I'm doing in order to keep us  _ all _ safe until the cavalry can show up!"

 

"You could have stalled!  You could have waited!  You could have done anything except--"

 

"Except what?!" Max challenged.  "Except give Alex a fighting chance?!"

 

"That's not what you did--"

 

"Isn't it?"

 

Silence.

 

Her mother seemed to be taking that in and looked over at her at that moment.  Alex started to sit herself up right when her mother seemed to realize that she was awake and moving towards her.  Fussing was eminent, but she refused to go through that lying down.  "I'm fine...just have a headache," she waved off when her mother was only a few steps away and Alex was upright.  That didn't stop her mother from looking her over, as if she'd been in a knife fight or something.  "It's just a headache," Alex insisted.  

 

"You've been unconscious for some time," Eliza told her.  "And Max…"

 

Silence.

 

She looked between both of them and knew that Max had to have done what he thought was right and likely what Alex had told him to do.  There was no sparing her from what was coming, they all knew that.  The real Hank Henshaw had taken her father from them, but Alex refused to allow him to do any more harm to the Danvers family.  Her mother wasn't losing anyone else.  So, she'd just be a little...different.  Her mind had already been going through the possibilities of reversing what they did anyways, but she didn't want to bring that up and blow it up anymore (because her mother would have her own opinions and own knowledge base to draw from and it would just get into something...that they didn't need to get into at that moment).  

 

"What happened?" Alex whispered.

 

"You passed out," Max said calmly.  "You came in and out of it, you were in a lot of pain.  Something went wrong.  It should have taken with no problems, but it seems your body decided to resist what we introduced into it a little later than it should have.  It's fixed, though," Max added a breath later.  "General Lane allowed me to retrieve my nanites from my lab--"

 

"He let you leave?"

 

"Under armed guard," he told her.  "I couldn't get out a message."  Max shrugged.  "We have to just hope that your people were watching me."

 

"He didn't just use the nanites to fix what he broke, though," Eliza brought up.

 

"No, she's right," Max said.  He and Alex had talked, she'd wanted to keep her mother safe, she'd wanted to do what was best for all of them.  If they stalled...if they tried to trick them...or if they just refused...well, Alex knew that severe action would have already been taken against them.  General Lane and Henshaw had already proved they had it in them to take action when they'd nearly killed Alex before.  They couldn't risk that.  "I dosed you."

 

"With what?" Alex questioned.

 

"Alien DNA," Max said.  "Well, your sister's DNA."  He shrugged.  "Though I spliced it specifically for certain traits--"

 

"Max--"

 

"It was safer than what we were coming up with in the lab without the original DNA I used from my own labs, so I told them I needed all of it when I took the nanites since I was already there."  Max paused.  "I targeted the super strength and the flight."  He got really quiet and Alex swore that his eyes were searching for forgiveness.  "I had to do it, Alex.  To save you.  I had to make a deal with Henshaw…"

 

Her mind raced as she tried to take that in.  "I don't feel different," she whispered.  "I have a headache, but--"

 

"It's probably  _ more _ than a headache…"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"I can't…" she breathed as she closed her eyes and just thought about everything that was being asked of her.  Alex knew that this would be coming, but now that she heard the words...the threats...the commands...it was all so real and so much scarier.  

 

"I can guarantee you that you'll watch both of your parents die if you refuse," Henshaw told her

 

Alex's eyes snapped open.  They already had separated her mother from them.  Alex knew that she  _ had _ to do it, but that didn't make it easier.  It felt like no matter what choice she made, someone she loved was in danger and/or hurt in the process.  She knew that her father was out there, that he was likely at Cadmus...but to hear it from Henshaw's own mouth that her father was alive...and the threats…

 

"I'm not telling you to kill your alien friends," Henshaw stated.  "I'm just saying that I want you out there...flying in the skies...and if you happen upon one of them or both of them, just punch them."  He shrugged.  "As far as I am aware, they both possess super healing powers, so it's not like you'd actually injure either of them.  Am I wrong?"

 

"No," she allowed quietly.  Alex glared at him.  She was fairly sure that he wouldn't have cared if they didn't have regenerative powers anyways.  It was clear that he hated aliens, but that he also had no qualms with killing humans.  It made her sick to look at him.  

 

There was a long silence.

 

"Will you do it then?"

 

"I don't have a choice, do I?" Alex spat.

 

"No, no you do not."

 

All she could think was that this was what it must have been for her parents when it came to this Hank Henshaw all of those years ago when he showed up on their doorstep.  This was worse, though, because she wasn't even entirely sure if she could protect the people she loved.  There was faith she had to have in so many things, but especially herself in that moment.  

 

"Let's get you suited up," Henshaw said.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


So many times, she'd heard Kara describe flying...and there had been times where Alex had flown with her sister.  In all those times, she never knew what needed to happen in order for a person to take off.  How did she start?  It wasn't like Kara would just jump off a rooftop, she could fly from any surface...including the ground.  As Alex stood outside of the facility that she'd been held in, all she could do was fidget her fingers as she tried to think of how to take off.  

 

They'd dressed her in a tight black suit that reminded her both of Astra and then when Kara had been affected by the red Kryptonite.  It was just missing a house symbol.  She was also equipped with a tracking device, a listening device, and some kind of video link.  Alex wasn't sure if it was all going to work, all she knew was that with all of that, she needed to make sure that she protected Kara and J'onn as much as she could going out.  She hoped that no one was watching and that she just wouldn't run into them.  There were other ways to prove the powers she'd been infused with.

 

"I told you, Ms. Danvers," Henshaw spoke up sternly behind her.  "I won't play games."

 

Alex looked over her shoulder at him, glaring as hard as she could.  She suddenly wished she had Kara's heat vision.  "Taking off isn't exactly in the DNA."

 

"Maybe try moving."

 

She  _ really  _ hated him.  Alex turned back and looked upward.  She tried to clear her mind and breathe.  Dropping off the weight and worry wasn't easy and Alex was actually finding it impossible.  So, instead she thought about Kara.  She thought about her sister's bright face and flying.  Alex pushed off with her legs and found herself hovering just a foot off of the ground.  She'd done it.  She was  _ actually  _ flying.

 

Normally, she would have taken great joy in that act, but right now...all she could think about was her mother and doing what Henshaw had commanded her to do.  Right now she had to be a villain.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


As she floated out in the clouds, she was hoping for one of two things to happen...that either no one noticed her or that it was J'onn.  At least with J'onn, she could hope that he would read her mind, sense something, or well...anything that had to do with him  _ knowing  _ that this wasn't her and what had happened.  She just didn't think that she could face Kara, that things would be okay when everything was over...the last thing Alex wanted was to hurt her sister in any way.  

 

She didn't know exactly how much time had passed.  

  
She didn't care.

 

Well, that wasn't entirely true.  She was worried about her mother and Max's safety...and the more that time that passed, she was certain that that would lead Henshaw and Lane to think about acting against them.  Alex was doing what she was doing, though.  She was cooperating.  There wasn't much more she could do except punch something, which she wondered if it would hurt her or not.  She had super strength and flight, but she didn't have the healing.  

 

_ Alex? _

 

Her head turned, hearing his voice and her own name in her head.  Alex was suddenly thinking that they should have practiced this whole reading her mind thing and really testing how it worked.  She'd had so many questions before and he'd always avoided them or pushed them off to another time.  Closing her eyes, she tried to focus her concentration on what she wanted J'onn to know. 

 

Keep Kara away.

 

General Lane.

 

Hank Henshaw.

 

Experiment.

 

Alex thought about how she was the experiment.  She focused on her flying and she thought about Bizarro.  Thoughts of her mother and Max and what they'd done to her.  Everything that she could think of that would help him in this situation.  

 

The hard part was communicating that this was a test.  

 

Would he understand?

 

Did he understand everything already because he could really see all of her thoughts even when she wasn't focused on him or on the thought?  

 

"Alex," came  his voice now and he came into view.  It was so different seeing him flying there in front of her dressed as Martian Manhunter, but at the same time she felt like it was better than seeing him disguised as Hank Henshaw.  "We've been looking for you."

 

"I'm sorry," she whispered as tears fell from her eyes and her voice broke.  Her heart was breaking already feeling the weight and the guilt of having to prove her strength.  

 

_ I will come for you.  For all of you.  Just hold on. _

 

His words brought her little solace.  She still had to prove that she actually possessed the super strength that Max told her she had.  There was no certainty that it would be enough and Alex was worried at the same time that her strength would be too much.  J'onn was strong and resilient, but she didn't want to hurt him.  Not him.

 

_ It's okay, Alex. _

 

It wasn't.

 

"Come home," he said.  He had to know that they were watching the exchange.  He had to have seen that in her head, in her thoughts.

 

"I wish I could."

 

"Alex--"

 

"I'm sorry, J'onn," she whispered before she pulled her arm back, fingers balled up into a fist.  She launched the punch forward and it took her breath away, the impact and how far J'onn went flying.  It killed her.  No matter how much she knew she needed to do it or that he understood, it still made it all difficult.

 

She did it.

 

Wiping the tears away, she tried to steady her breathing.  She felt ill and she was trying to calm herself before she was going to head back to Lane's base.  Alex just hoped that that was enough of a test.  She kept reminding that she did this for her mother and for Max...and now J'onn knew...and the DEO would definitely be coming for them.  This wouldn't stand.  General Lane and Henshaw wouldn't get away with what they'd done--

 

Head spinning, world spinning, vision blurring, and Alex realized that she was falling.  The clouds above her, spiraling…

 

_ Alex! _

 

J'onn came into view, hand outstretched, right before the world went black.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	4. Sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but my brain wouldn't allow for more.

"Alex?"

 

She was so tired.  

 

"Alex?"

 

Her eyelids were heavy, but she managed to push them open and to force the cloudiness of unconsciousness away.  "Mom?" she whispered weakly.  

 

"No," came his quiet voice.

 

As soon as her vision cleared, he came into focus.  J'onn.  It took her a moment but she remembered what had happened.  "No," she breathed.  Her body didn't want to respond as quickly as it should.  It was with J'onn's help that she was able to sit up, his arms cradling her.  He was still very green.  "I can't…" she whispered.  "I can't stay here…"

 

"Alex," he half scolded and held her still.  

 

"My mom--"

 

"I promise you, nothing will happen to Eliza," he whispered as he gently pushed back a strand of hair away from her face.  

 

"They're--"

 

"I disabled it," J'onn said.  He smiled at her for a moment.  "And capes, they help with flying."

 

Alex couldn't help but smile at that.  "I thought I was doing pretty well for my first time," she defended weakly.  "I'm so tired…"

 

"You're human, Alex," he reminded gently.  "Think about how many calories that Kara has to consume…"

 

Groaning, she closed her eyes and allowed her head to roll in towards his chest.  "I didn't take that into consideration…"

 

"Let me take you back to the DEO--"

 

"No!"

 

J'onn frowned down at her.  "Alex--"

 

"I don't have the time--"

 

"You could  _ die _ , Alex!"

 

"And he could kill my mother...and Max."

 

"Alex--"

 

"You can't go in there, J'onn!"

 

"How are you going to get there?  You're exhausted," he pointed out.  He looked heartbroken.  "I won't let anything happen to you...not if I can help it."  J'onn sighed.  "I'll take you back there, if that's the only place you'll go...then I'll take you back.  Maxwell Lord better be able to help you or else I will do what I need to in order to take you and Eliza to safety."

 

"J'onn--"

 

"We're not arguing about this."

 

So they didn't.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Her eyes blinked open and she stared up at the grey tiled ceiling.  Blinking again, Alex gasped as memories flooded to the surface.  "J'onn?" she gasped as she pushed herself up into a sitting position.  Her head spun as she moved too quickly for her own body and head.  Looking around frantically, she searched for him--

 

"Alex, you're safe, _ you're safe _ ," her mother's hit her ears before her arms wrapped around Alex.

 

She remembered that J'onn explained that she needed to consume more calories so that her body had the fuel it needed for the extra powers.  It was a lot like Kara or her sister's friend, Barry, that she'd talked about.  Max came into view a moment later without a word and he was immediately checking her vitals.  None of this eased her fears.  "J'onn said--"

 

"Shh...just breathe, Alex," her mother prompted.  "When they brought you in here, you were unconscious.  Just give it a minute."

 

So, Alex focused on breathing for just a moment.  She felt so much better in that moment, she realized, than she had earlier when she'd fallen from the sky…  Looking down, she realized that her hand was had an IV going into it and knew that that had to be the reason why.  

 

"What did your green friend say?" Max questioned quietly as he began examining the IV port on the top of her hand.

 

"He said that the reason I passed out…"  she swallowed and told herself that she needed to start over.  Alex shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.  "I fell from the sky…  I had passed out.  He caught me.  He said that my body needed more fuel than I was taking in--"

 

"See and they didn't take my food order seriously," Max teased lightly.  "You could have probably used like ten burgers…"

 

"If J'onn hadn't been there...I would have died," Alex whispered as she covered her face with her hand.  She felt better, but the exhaustion was quickly creeping back in.  She knew the reason why they hadn't targeted the accelerated healing as one of the first traits to target, but in that moment she knew that she could have really used it.  

 

"They want more," Max said gently.  "Maybe we should look at the accelerated healing--"

 

"No!" he mother snapped quickly.  "No!  We shouldn't do anything else--"

 

Max decided to say something very Max-like in that moment that even threw off Alex.  "Doctor Danvers, that was a real nice declaration, welcome to the present, where we're running a scientific mutation in order to save us all."  He only seemed to become more and more frustrated.  "Would you like to join us or do you want to find yourself back and dwell in your cell?"

 

Before Alex or Eliza could voice anything in response, the door was slammed open and all of their attentions were diverted.  Henshaw was standing there with General Lane and his men at his side.  For a brief moment, Alex wondered if it could actually be J'onn as Henshaw, but then his eyes stayed hard and...and...there was just something there that was dark and evil that convinced Alex that it wasn't actually the man who had saved her from falling from the sky.  That didn't make it any easier.  She still wondered if he was okay.  Had he turned himself over?  What had happened after she'd passed out?

 

"You're worrying about the imposter," Henshaw said with a smirk.  "I'm sure you'd like to tell me assure you not to worry...but you _ really  _ should…"  His tone was hard, chilling, and just down right evil.  There was never a doubt that that man was the real Hank Henshaw.  The world had been so much better when he'd been dead.  

 

"What have you done with him?!" Alex spat, for a moment feeling like she was her normal self...even her super powered self, but then she found herself hardly able to keep on her feet and her mother and Max were doing a very good job of keeping her in place.  

 

"He stupidly surrendered himself here," Henshaw said as he moved further into the room.  "He apparently has no concern about his own well being as long as  _ you _ are cared for…"  The man seemed amused now.  "I don't understand his fascination with you...or Max's for that matter.  Is it a protection thing or are they both stupidly in love with you?"  Henshaw grew cold suddenly, his smile dropping.  "The only reason that you're alive right now is because of people putting themselves in the way of me killing you...your father, J'onn J'onzz, and even your mother and Maxwell Lord here…"  He tilted his head to the side as he moved closer.  "And I just keep thinking that if I had killed you all those years ago that it might have been worth it for those people to actually have lives now…  I mean, they'd be doing  _ good work _ ...in Cadmus, but at least--"

 

"What do you _ want _ , Henshaw?" Max cut off, gritting his teeth together as he asked the question.

 

"I want my super soldier...and I don't want the watered down version," Henshaw told them.  "You transform Ms. Danvers into that."

 

"And then what?"

 

"And then I do whatever I want, Mr. Lord," Henshaw told him gruffly.

 

"All I'm hearing is do what I want now and I'll kill her later, if not...I kill her now," Max pointed out argumentatively.  "Basically...it sounds like we're all going to hell in a handbasket...the question is more of when and who gets to pull the trigger."

 

"You're catching on."

 

All she could think was that J'onn was somewhere on that base.  She knew that Henshaw had been searching for J'onn before...he didn't care if he was peaceful or not.  All Henshaw wanted to do was to kill him.  Alex felt responsible.  She wrapped her hand around Max and whispered her plea.  "Please...he has J'onn…"

 

"Alex," her mother half scolded in a breath.

 

"Just do what he wants, Max," Alex went on, a little louder.  When their eyes met, she plead with him silently.  She couldn't risk J'onn's life, not because of her...not this…  There was still time.  They could still get out or get rescued.  The DEO had to be working on it.  Kara was still out there.  

 

"So much like her father," Henshaw stated.  "It's really too bad that you likely won't survive this whole science experiment long enough to be reunited with him."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  
  



	5. Tick Tock

No matter how they worked, Alex knew that there was no way that they could make her Kryptonian.  She was fairly sure that that was honestly what Henshaw and General Lane actually wanted.  They wanted bullet proof and impervious to Kryptonite.  No matter how much Kryptonian DNA they flooded her system with, there was no way she'd be transform into one.  There was science in it all...and the science said that they could just maybe give Henshaw what he wanted...and maybe it would last just long enough for her to save her mother, J'onn, and Max...long enough for her to protect Kara...to put away Henshaw and expose General Lane.  She didn't know if the military would actually do anything about General Lane, but Henshaw was technically supposed to be dead...so she didn't see any harm in locking him away in a cell in the DEO.  If it was her last act on that Earth, then she'd see it done…

 

"You should be sitting down."

 

Alex ignored him.  "I don't need to be fussed over."

 

"He's right, Alex," her mother spoke up.

 

Looking up from the microscope and in her mother's direction, Alex just stared at her for a moment in shock.  She hadn't expected her mother to agree with Max, but at the same time...they were all scientists.  Max and her mother had to know exactly what she knew.  Her life as Alex Danvers was finite...and even more so now.  

 

"Before we go any further, I should probably push enough calories into your system that you won't pass out if they have you go out again," Max said.  

 

"We should have put in a central line if we were going to keep doing this," her mother said in an eerie detached tone.

 

There was this blanket of sadness and defeat that had fallen over them all, Alex knew that she wasn't immune to it.  It was eating her away from the inside.  "It's fine," she waved off.  "We just have to keep from collapsing veins."  All she kept thinking was that it wouldn't matter much longer anyways.  

 

"It wouldn't take much," her mother added.

 

Alex met her mother's eyes and she felt horrible.  Her mother had been through all of this with her father...she'd lost him...and now he could be out there (though who knew how he had been changed after all these years…) and all she was probably thinking was that it was happening to her daughter now.  She moved away from the microscope and crossed the small distance to her mother, who suddenly looked so small and lost, she wrapped her arms around her and just held onto her.  "It's going to be okay."

 

"You  _ can't  _ lie to me about this, Alex," her mother whispered before pressing a kiss to the side of her head.  "I know exactly what's happening...and what they want us to do to you…"  Her voice broke now and Alex could hear the heartbreak in her mother's voice.  "And I know exactly what that means for my precious daughter…"  

 

Her mother clung to her and Alex drew in a shuddering breath.  She'd been so strong because all she could think was that she was protecting these people that she loved...but now...now she found herself emotionally compromised.  Her eyes filled with tears, she squeezed them shut, tears running down her cheeks, and just tried to focus on the fact that this would free her mother, J'onn, and Max...which meant that they would be there to keep Kara safe when she wouldn't be able to...and they'd be able to look for her father.  "I love you," Alex whispered in a shaky breath.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Her entire being cried out from the pain she was in, the pain she knew she'd be in, but that she knew she couldn't numb.  There was only so much pain medication you could take and only so much you could take when you were expected to perform flight maneuvers and who knew what else.  Every step, every breath...it all was agonizing and she'd done her best to hide it from her mom and Max, but she knew that they'd known she was in some level of pain.

 

"Alex," J'onn breathed upon seeing her, anguish in his voice, and he immediately pulled against his guards to try to move towards her.  He was in his Green Martian form, which Alex wasn't sure if it was because he had to be because of a device or merely just to keep her from having to see duplicate Hank Henshaws.

 

"I don't think so," Henshaw said.  "She needed to see you, so I told her this one last time…"  He seemed amused at it all as he looked between them.  "Because let's face it, this is likely the last time for both of you…"

 

J'onn didn't take the bait, though, instead he spoke calmly.  "She's having a hard enough time standing," he said.  "She's in too much pain.  What if she passes out again?  What if--"

 

Henshaw turned his death glare from J'onn to her.  Alex drew in a steady breath before slowly pushing it out.  "Is this true?"

 

"Yes," she said.  It was the truth and lying could just put everyone she cared about in danger.  She couldn't do that.  Alex knew that she couldn't look spectacular, but maybe Henshaw didn't expect her to look in good form.  

 

"Well, she  _ is _ a woman," General Lane pointed out.  "Fragile.  We should have used one of my men--"

 

"Mr. Lord will just know that he has to do better, to perfect what he's already formulated, and to ensure that what he injects into your soldiers doesn't leave them weak and useless like Ms. Danvers here," Henshaw said as he pointed in her direction.

 

Alex was exhausted, agony ripping through her entire being, and all she wanted was for it to be over in that moment.  "What do you want from me?"

 

"I just want a demonstration of your abilities," Henshaw told her like it was the most obvious thing.  "And perhaps...if you survive through it...I'll let you be with your father again."

 

Her father.

 

What had Henshaw, Lane, and Cadmus done to him?

 

Was he some kind of unrecognizable monster?

 

She felt like one right now.

 

No matter what happened, Alex knew that she couldn't face her father.  She'd become something else, she wasn't Alex Danvers anymore.  Her eyes turned to J'onn and as he stared back at her, Alex had a feeling that he knew exactly what she was feeling...possibly even what she was thinking.  Desperately she wished that she could communicate telepathically with J'onn, though ever since she'd learned of his powers she'd hoped that he'd not caught things that she'd thought about him.  Right now, though...that's all she wanted.

 

"If we let the martian go with her--" Lane started, but was quickly cut off.

 

"He's infatuated with her," Henshaw said.  "He cares for all the Danvers, we still have Eliza...he won't just disappear and leave her here with us...and we can still get to Kara…"

 

Alex's head spun at that thought.  She wanted to snap at him, to show him exactly how the powers that he'd made her take on could be used.  That wouldn't protect them, though.  All she kept thinking about was her sister, her sunny face and all the hope she always had for the world.  Sucking in a breath, she focused on what would be needed to show off.  So, she started with the basics of flying...which basically ended up with her levitating a little.

 

"She's useless!" Lane shouted.

 

Without really thinking about it, her head turned and she shot off a quick shot from her heat vision to a foot in front of Lane's shoes.  She had wanted to get it closer, but she was so out of it that she didn't want to risk actually screwing it up and lasering his feet (though he definitely deserved any accidental injury he might incur).  

 

"She's enough for this test," Henshaw insisted.  "Just barely."  He looked to the guards with J'onn.  "Release him."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


They had a mission.

 

Alex hated it.

 

It wasn't because of the mission, but rather the fact that she felt awful following the orders of General Lane and Henshaw.  The mission itself was something basic and nothing too involved, it was more of a show off kind of mission...they wanted to have a show of power.  That was all it really fizzled down to.

 

"Let me help you," J'onn whispered as he came up beside her.  He didn't wait, though, he moved until he was supporting her in the flight.  

 

"Promise me," Alex found herself whispering and hating herself for what she was about to ask.  She knew he would do it.  "Promise me that you'll watch out for Kara...and my mom?"

 

"Alex--"

 

"I have to know they'll be okay."

 

"You know I will...just like I have always done."

 

"Maybe Henshaw's right--"

 

There was a growly tone to his voice this time as he scolded her.  "Alex--"

 

"He keeps saying that I'm so much like my father and he's right...and that's why I have to make you promise the same thing he asked you to promise him in Peru," Alex whispered.  She could feel her energy ramping down, what little she had possessed before.  "I just…  My mom, she's going to break...but she needs to protect Kara and she won't be able to do it alone."

 

"I'm not giving up on you."

 

"I'm fragile compared to you and Kara," Alex continued in a breath as her eyes slid shut.  Without the constant need to focus on flying and where she was going, her body was forcing her to shut down anything that was too much for her to handle.  "What's been done to me, we all knew the science while we pieced it all together…"  

 

They didn't like it.

 

Alex actually wondered if her mother would hate her for this.  She knew it was stupid, that her mom loved her and really did understand her reasoning behind it, but that didn't make it any less difficult on any of them.  "My time is ticking away, J'onn…  This is my last chance at protecting the people I love...to make things right…"

 

"I'm not just going to accept that," he insisted.  She could hear the emotion in his voice and his determination behind it.  

 

And a second later, the pain began to fade...just like the world around her…

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	6. Goodbyes

"Alex."

 

Her name sounded like a whisper on the wind.

 

"Alex."

 

It was dedicated, that wind.  

 

"Alex,  _ please _ …"

 

Yet, the wind sounded so sad in that moment.  

 

" _ Wake up _ , Alex," the angelic voice sounded very much like a firm command.

 

It felt instantaneous when her eyes slid open to the brightly lit haloed silhouette over her and the realization that she recognized the voice of the wind.  It wasn't the wind at all, but it was the closest thing to an angel in her life...someone who had invisible wings…

 

"Kara," she croaked out weakly.

 

As the brightness dulled, shadows lifted, and colors filled in the spaces…

 

She was back at the DEO.  She was in the med bay.  She wasn't supposed to be there.  Alex was there with Kara, but she didn't see J'onn and all she could think about was that she was putting her mother and Max in danger.  Without letting another thought pass, she pushed herself upward, but Kara pushed her back down into place.  

 

"Hey, you  _ need  _ to rest," Kara said gently and so full of concern.

 

"I  _ can't _ , Kara…"

 

And then she saw it.  

 

In her sister's eyes, Alex could see the truth.  J'onn had to have told her or one of the doctors had said something, which probably meant Hamilton or Hernandez.  Kara knew that Alex was going to die.  There was science working against them, science that Alex knew...it wasn't something she could run from...her final thread was already cut...it was just unraveling the last bit.  It was her last chance to make a difference...to make sure that what needed to be done before her life was done.  

 

"Mom and Max are out there, Kara," she said, not trying to get up, but needing her sister to understand what they were up against.  "If I don't do what they need...if I--"

 

"J'onn said you needed more nutrients," Kara said and then tapped the IV stand next to the bed.  "He said he'd be back once it was empty and that you two would go and do what needed to be done...and that he'd bring Eliza and Max back…"

 

Closing her eyes for a moment, Alex sucked in a breath and took in what Kara was saying.  Her words weren't what was killing her in that moment, but the breathy and heartbroken tone of her voice.  Alex lost it then, unable to keep her composure.  "I'm sorry…  I am supposed to take care of you--"

 

"For once," Kara whispered and when Alex opened her eyes, she could see the tears falling from her sister's eyes as well.  " _ For once _ , please let me be the one to take care of you...let _ us  _ take care of you…"

 

But she couldn't.

 

This was how it had to be.

 

"I love you, Kara," she whispered to her sister as she reached out to touch her cheek.  Even though Alex was certain that her sister knew that, she needed to say it because this would be their last time together…  Alex didn't want Kara to think that their last moments together were of them fighting, she just wanted Kara to know that she loved her.

 

A bubble of tears came to the surface and Kara embraced her sister, holding Alex as tight as she likely dared.  Sobs escaped her chest as she shook.  All Alex could think as she held her sister was that someone else would have to do this, to be there for Kara when she couldn't be...because she wouldn't be anymore.  This was it.  This was their final moment.  "I love you," Kara finally pushed out.

 

No one could take that love away.

 

No one.

 

Nothing.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


They had a plan.

 

A plan which had apparently required a good nearly ten minutes of both J'onn and Kara telling her how bad her plan was.  The reason why they thought it was a bad plan was because it really meant that this was a suicide mission for her...and it was something that they both had to accept.  Before, they'd both been in denial, but now...now the truth of it was staring them right in the face.  

 

The three of them exchanged looks as they stood on a rooftop far enough from the military facility that they couldn't be seen, but close enough that it would take Kara all of a breath to get to them.  Her sister had had a hard time keeping it together when they'd left the DEO, not that Alex could blame her because she'd had just as hard of a time.  "When we were younger," Alex spoke as she looked out at the sky beyond where they stood.  "I was so envious of your powers...and now that I have them...I have no idea how you managed it," she said as she looked over at Kara.  

 

"Because I had you."

 

"We should go," J'onn said gruffly.

 

Alex gave a nod.  They all knew what they were to do.  It wouldn't be easy, but it was entirely possible to complete if everyone focused on their job.  She gave Kara one last look before she and J'onn flew towards the military building they were to return to.  General Lane and Henshaw were standing outside when they returned.  Henshaw looked even more irritated than when they'd left and as Alex stared at him, it was so hard to remember that he was not her friend, not the man who had helped her find herself, the person who taught her how to defend herself...he wasn't J'onn J'onzz.  

 

She stood a few feet in front of J'onn, feeling the severe fatigue hitting her once again, her body just wasn't made for those powers.  Humans were too frail and nothing was going to change that short of changing them completely biologically.  Alex knew that even though General Lane had thought this was some kind of win in the area of super soldiers, she knew better...and she knew the truth.

 

It had failed.

 

"You've been gone a long while...and we haven't seen you prove yourself in the field," Henshaw stated.  "They took you to the DEO--"

 

"She wasn't going to make it if I didn't," J'onn grumbled.

 

"So let me prove it right now," Alex told him, trying not to let her fatigue and weakness show.  

 

"I had a feeling that you'd take the time I gave you and waste it," Henshaw snapped.  Before Alex could say anything, soldiers were dragging her mother from the nearby door.  "We'll see if you cross me--"

 

Before Henshaw could finish his threat, though, Alex unleashed the heat vision that she had, unsure exactly how it worked and just hoped that she didn't hit her mother in the process of it all.  She shouted as she did so and it was enough when she relented that her mother was free from their hold, J'onn was already on the move (obviously ready for any change in their original plan) to gather up her mother.  This was the  _ only _ chance she had to ensure that things were safe--

 

Launching herself forward, she went after Henshaw.  Using the super strength she could muster and occasionally shooting off her heat vision in order to keep the excess guards back.  General Lane had backed off and she'd noticed him quickly retreating into the building.  None of it mattered because she'd already seen J'onn take her mother away and she knew that Kara would get Max out.

 

Bullets rang out and though Alex knew she'd been hit, she didn't stop.  

 

"Kryptonite isn't going to harm me," she spat at Henshaw before finally punching him out.  His body fell to the ground...and a moment later...so did hers.

 

Footfalls.

 

Blinking upward, Alex pushed out a heavy breath as armed soldiers circled around her.  Above her, though were just stars...and a blur that she knew was her sister.  "I love you, Kara," she breathed before allowing darkness to take her completely.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	7. One Last Breath

Beep.

 

Beep.

 

Beep.

 

Cold.

 

Beep.

 

"You're asking for  _ a lot _ ."

 

So cold.

 

Beep.

 

"She's my  _ daughter _ ...I know exactly how much I'm asking of the universe...but we  _ can  _ do it…  I  _ won't _ lose her...not  _ now _ ...not like  _ this _ ..."

 

Beep.

 

Numb.

 

Beep.

 

"Whatever divine powers everyone in this base believes in, they better get to praying...building altars...lighting candles or whatever they're into."

 

Beep.

 

Beep.

 

"The only thing that's going to heal my daughter after everything that's been done to her is science."

 

Beep.

 

Fading.

 

Beep.

 

"As a man of science, I'm going to have to disagree with you...and this will probably be the only time I say that this time...I think it's up to whatever higher power is out there…"

 

Beep.

 

"Alexandra... _ please _ ...just open your eyes…"

 

Beep.

 

Beep.

 

Beep.

 

"I'm _ right _ here…"

 

Beep.

 

"We're  _ all _ right here…"

 

Beep.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Waves crashed.

 

Wind swept her hair around.

 

The air smelled of salt.

 

"Hello, Alex…"

 

Midvale.

 

She looked around and saw her childhood home looking just as it did when she was a small girl.  When she turned, she found her father standing there all in white.  A gasp filled her and her eyes filled heavy with tears.  "Dad?" 

 

"I don't know why you've always been so determined to carry the weight of the world like Atlas, you have always been stronger than all of us...and all I've ever wanted you to do was to take your wings and fly…"

 

"Am I dead?" she asked as she looked around again.  Alex wasn't even sure what she believed or what to believe.  Her mind was spinning and inside, all she felt was an ache as she thought about Kara.  How worried she was about her sister and her future...and how much she already missed her.  

 

Her father moved closer and his hand settled on her shoulder.  " _ No _ , Alex," Jeremiah said firmly.  Suddenly he was beaming at her, his voice full of happiness.  "You are  _ too  _ strong and  _ too  _ stubborn to let death win…"

 

"Henshaw said that you were out there."

 

"You already knew that."

 

"He _ confirmed _ it."

 

"You know that I'm not him, not  _ really _ …"

 

Alex sucked in a breath and nodded.  "You're in my head…"

 

"I am."

 

"But I'm here for a  _ reason _ ."

 

Jeremiah shrugged.  "I suppose you could think of it that way...or think of it like a waypoint."

 

"A waypoint?"

 

"Do you know where you want to go from here, Alex?"

 

"What?"

 

"When you wake up, when you find out that you get to live a little longer than you thought, do you know what you're going to do next?"

 

"Hug Kara and Mom," Alex blurted out without thinking any further.  Those were the two things she knew she needed to do right away.  

 

"Big picture, Sweetie."

 

"I'm going to look for you...I'm going to _ find  _ you...and I'm going to make sure that people like General Lane, Hank Henshaw, and whoever is behind Cadmus can't do what they did to us to  another family," Alex responded fiercely.  "There was  _ so  _ much time stolen from us...from our family.  It  _ wasn't  _ fair."

 

"It wasn't."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


It was like being pulled from ice water and not realizing you were freezing until after your body was completely exposed to air.  It wasn't really the cold that was shocking, but the amount of pain her entire body was in.

 

_ Breathe. _

 

There was a voice in her head.  

 

_ Breathe. _

 

Alex swore she was breathing, but breathing only seemed to make her hurt more.  With each breath, her chest felt more and more like it was going to burst.  Agony with every breath felt unbearable and she suddenly wished--

 

_ Open your eyes, Alex.  Come back to us. _

 

Even with each prompt, Alex felt like there was no way she could do what was asked at her.  The breathing she knew was necessary for her to survive, to live, but with each breath...she found herself in more and more pain.  As she tried to assess her own body, she didn't even think she could lift one eyelid, let alone two, or command the energy that she would need to actually gaze out at the world from inside the constricting prison she felt like she was trapped inside of.

 

_ You're not alone. _

 

But alone was all she felt.  Trapped and unable to find a way out of her own darkness.  

 

_ You've never been alone.   _

 

Help me.

 

_ Just open your eyes. _

 

She couldn't.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The sun was bright.

 

The water was cool.

 

The wind was gentle.

 

"I know it hurts too much to accept reality right now, but they need you."

 

"Do you remember the first day Kara came to live with us?"

 

"Of course I do," Jeremiah replied from behind her.  Alex was still staring out at the ocean near the Danvers Midvale house.  "Because  _ you _ do."

 

"Sometimes I wish we could go back and change things…"

 

"Change what?"

 

"Whatever we would need to do to keep you in our lives," Alex said as she turned to look at him.  "To keep Kara safe.  To keep our lives as normal as possible…"

 

"You know what that would mean, Alex."

 

"I'd have you."

 

"You'd lose so much that you have now."

 

And she knew that.

 

That didn't make her wish for it in that moment, though.  Standing there in Midvale...well, in her brain's version of Midvale, all she could think about was how carefree their lives had seemed that first year that Kara had been part of their family.  

 

"I'm proud of you," Jeremiah told her.

 

"You haven't seen me for over ten years," Alex shot back.  

 

"You're right," he countered.  "But you needed to hear it.  You needed to see me and hear me tell you because you beat yourself up every chance you get."  He moved closer to her, his hands falling on her upper arms.  "Sweetheart, you want to dwell on how life could have been...but all you really need is to wake up…  You need the life that you have.  You're marvelous and when you finally find me again, I'll tell you the same thing."  He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, Alex's eyes squeezing shut as she wished for that to be true.  "Go now.  J'onn was calling to you.  Your sister's probably been pacing.  Your mother's likely never left your side.   _ They need you _ , Alex,  _ more than you realize _ ."

 

"Dad."

 

"I love you."

 

Sucking in a breath, she tried to keep herself calm.  "I love you," she whispered back even though she knew that he wasn't really her dad.  She still needed to say the words.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Beep.

 

Beep.

 

Beep.

 

"Kara said she'd bring another book later, but I don't know what else you might want to hear.  Your sister insists that the 'Harry Potter' series is not read aloud properly unless done so with a proper and accurate British accent.  I am afraid that my--"

 

"I'll listen to anything you read," Alex mumbled, her eyes were still closed, but she smiled.  She had no recollection of her mother reading, but she knew that it was likely to keep her mother's sanity and to give her something to do.  Maybe it had helped, Alex didn't know.  All she knew was that she was awake now and that she hurt all over.  When her eyes finally slid open slowly, she found her mother stroking her hair and staring down at her.  

 

"I was starting to worry…"

 

"I had two geniuses working to bring me back to life."  Her voice was weak and quiet, even talking was an effort and it didn't come without pain.

 

"And we did...have to bring you back," her mother informed her.  Eliza's voice broke and tears rolled down her cheeks as she pulled in a shaky breath.  Alex watched as her mother shook her head a little bit before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her head, right where she had remembered her father kissing her in her dream.  "There were  _ so  _ many times I thought we'd lost you...so many times I thought that my baby wasn't coming back…"  Her mother was completely breaking down in that moment.  "We've lost too much…"

 

"I'm stubborn, remember?" 

 

A small smile came to her mother's lips then.  "I think you got a double dose of that."

 

"I'm sorry I scared you."

 

"You should be sorry that you agreed to any of the experimentation procedures in the first place," her mother chastised without missing a beat, but her heart obviously wasn't in it.

 

"You and Max are safe?"

 

"Yes--"

 

"Then it was worth it."

 

Her mother sighed in response to that.  

 

Alex just smiled and closed her eyes again.  "Though, this pain...I had factored in dying...not unrelenting pain."

 

"Well, you did die...multiple times."

 

"It feels like I got hit by a truck...multiple times."

 

"That's what happens when your genetic code has to be fixed after it's been tampered with," her mother reminded.  Alex knew the science, that didn't make it hurt less.  "You're likely going to be feeling the effects of what we had to do in order to reverse what was done in the first place for several months."

 

Several months.

 

She lay there, eyes closed, and just glad that her mother was safe with her in that moment.  It really was all worth it.  Even the pain, even if it had to last for the remainder of her life, it would be worth it.

 

"Get some sleep, Sweetie."

 

Sleep came easily.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"J'onn?" she mumbled a guess.

 

"How did you know?"  She could hear the smile in his voice, she wasn't sure if it was amusement at her guessing correctly or just being happy that she wasn't dead (well, anymore).  

 

"I thought I heard you."

 

"I wasn't talking."

 

Alex's eyes were still closed, but she scrunched up her face as she tried to think of the proper way to describe it.  "It was like a  _ hum _ ...in my head…"

 

"Interesting…"

 

Her eyes opened and she rolled her head in the direction of his voice to find him sitting at her bedside where her mother had been before.  He'd likely come to relieve her so she could get some sleep.  "Is that wrong?"

 

"No, I just haven't ever had someone sense that I was there…"

 

"Were you loitering?"

 

He grinned at that.  "No…  It was more just a wide cast net...in case you were in distress…"

 

"I mean, I suppose a hum is better than me seeing you as a color in my head, right?  That would be weird.  You could be green, though…" she babbled.  Alex knew that it was highly unlikely J'onn would get her movie reference unless he saw it in her brain, but in that moment she was feeling a little better than she had earlier when she'd woken up to her mother sitting there.  Maybe the pain was easing or maybe it was just because she was alive...and had actually felt like she'd slept.

 

"Green, huh?"

 

"Well, you could be a different color," Alex offered randomly.  "Maybe red…"  He just seemed more and more amused by every new blurb.  "Because when  you transform, your body takes on this weird red lines that looks almost like glowing lava lines or something…"

 

"I think the pain killers are really kicking in."

 

"Pain killers?"

 

"Your mom made them re-up them about twenty minutes ago to make sure you'd be comfortable while she was gone," he explained.

 

"What happened with Lane and Henshaw?" Alex questioned.  She knew that J'onn was probably the only one who would actually entertain her question with the truth instead of putting off the answer.  It was clear that something had to have happened because they were all safe and there didn't seem to be tension or upset that might come around if there was some kind of retaliation.  

 

"Henshaw has been taken into custody," J'onn explained.  "But...I have no control over where he is...or if he remains locked up."

 

"Out of our hands?"

 

"Yes."

 

She wanted to ask the name of the three letter agency that likely snatched Henshaw from their custody, but she knew that that wouldn't do anything to help.  It was likely only frustrate her further.  "What about Lane?"

 

"He got away...and no charges have been brought up against him," J'onn said.  There was anger in his voice and frustration.  General Lane was a constant cog in their smooth operation.  The DEO, though, wasn't in a place where they could reach so far...and she had a feeling that J'onn had tried to pull strings.  

 

"Henshaw knows where my dad is…" Alex whispered.  "And we need to figure out where he is...where Cadmus is...and what they've done to him."

 

"We will," he swore.  J'onn brushed hair away from her face and then pressed a kiss to her forehead.  "Right now, you need to rest...and heal."

 

"My mother didn't say how they kept me from dying," Alex brought up.  "Well, she said I died...multiple times, but why I'm not dead now."

 

"I don't know the science behind it all, but from what I witnessed...and now Doctor Hamilton has talked, I'd say it was a miracle…"  He smiled down at her.  "One that I'm very glad for.  Please, let's not go the whole suicidal route again, okay?"

 

"No promises."

 

He shook his head then.  "I'd argue, but I know better…"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You shouldn't be up."

 

"You sound like my mother."

 

"I don't look like your mother, though."

 

Alex couldn't help but smile at that as she turned to look at Max standing there.  She'd waited until her mother and Kara had left before getting out of bed and grabbing actual clothes to pull on.  She needed to get out of bed.  Doctor Hernandez had supervising her walking the day before, but she was just so antsy.  She needed to walk and just get out of the med bay.  Alex was fine with just walking around the DEO, that would be enough.  She'd never been one that was good with being idle or having people take care of her.  Though, she knew that she did have limits, that didn't mean that she didn't want to test them out a little.

 

"You don't," she found herself saying.  

 

"The last time I looked at you through the glass you looked quite dead," Max brought up as he motioned to the glass behind him.  "I am glad that that isn't the case…"

 

"Will you explain to me how I'm alive?"

 

"I don't know actually."

 

"Max--"

 

"Your mother insists that there's some science we missed in everything we tried to do, even though we both went through it...and there's no way that it could have undid everything I did to you," Max told her gently.  "Sometimes, you just have to have faith...in whatever you believe in."

 

Alex supposed that that made sense and that there would be a time eventually where she could look at the science and compare it to the medical data.  Right now, though, she was more concerned about whether or not Max would alert others to her putting sneakers on.  "Are you going to tell--"

 

"Not unless you collapse after tying your shoes," Max half teased with a smile.

 

She shook her head with a smile on her face and went to work tying her sneakers.  Alex straightened and started to walk towards him.  "Tada…"

 

"Clearly I have not completely taken in the glorious strength that is Alex Danvers," he half teased with a bright smile.  A beat passed.  "I am glad that you are feeling well.  I stayed away because I feared the worst...and your mother kept glaring at me…  Didn't quite feel like I should be at your bedside."

 

"How about walking me around the DEO for a few minutes?" Alex suggested.

 

"Like an escort?" he questioned as he extended his arm for her to take.

 

She looked at it and then shook her head.  "No."

 

"What?"

 

"I am not walking with you arm and arm around the DEO," Alex told him.  It wasn't just that she didn't want to appear weak around her co-workers, but she didn't need rumors started and she didn't want Max to get the wrong idea.  She liked him...sometimes...and enjoyed his genius...sometimes...but--

 

"Okay, I'll keep distance between us," he said as he dropped his arm.  "Whatever you wish."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"I say we order pizza…"

 

"Eliza said that you should still be taking it easy."

 

Alex sighed far too dramatically for that moment, but it felt good to do just the same.  "That doesn't mean that I can't eat normal food."  Her mother had left the day before to go back to Midvale and Alex had been taking it slow with work.  She'd also been at Kara's a lot after work, which was mostly because that's where their designated family spot had been during her mother's time in National City.  

 

Kara joined her on the couch, still dressed in her clothes from CatCo, and pulled the blanket so that it covered her lap as well as Alex's.  They both sat there for a moment in silence for a long moment.  "Normal order?"

 

"Normal order."

 

She watched as her sister quickly ordered the pizza on her phone before looking over at her.  "How has the search for Jeremiah been going today?"

 

There hadn't been any need for Kara to enter the DEO that day and Alex had only been there part day.  Even though she'd been released from the med bay well over a week before, she was still very much recovering from...well, dying…  Her body was slowly healing still and Alex still felt a slight exhaustion that plagued her.  It wasn't something that she could hide, but the only reason that her mother had headed home was because she knew that between Kara and J'onn, Alex would be looked after in her absence.

 

"Nothing new," Alex said with a frown.  It seemed like no matter how much they looked and investigated, it felt nearly impossible to pin down Cadmus.  

 

"So tonight, do you want to eat and then try to do some investigating ourselves?"

 

Alex really thought about that for a long moment.  She wrapped an arm around Kara, scooting over just slightly until her leg was against her sister's, and then dropped her head on Kara's shoulder.  "Tonight, let's just binge watch something…"

 

"Ideas?"

 

"Something we've already watched."

 

"Anything to narrow it?"

 

Alex smiled a little.  Kara was really trying to have her choose the show without even though Alex really didn't care at this point.  "Let's watch either 'Killjoys' or 'Wynonna Earp'."

 

"Kickass ladies and awesome siblings for the win," Kara said with a short laugh.  "I'm personally feeling that we should re-watch 'Killjoys' only because having to watch the whole revenant deal  on 'Wynonna Earp' reminds me too much of the DEO...and we so need a break."

 

It was clear that her sister approved.  "Agreed," Alex said.  "Amazon Season Pass time it is."  Kara was already on it and Alex just continued to sit there with her head on her sister's shoulder.  "How many episodes do you think we can get through?"

 

"Depends on if we re-watch every single one or just our favorites."

 

"Hmmm…"

 

"I mean, the more we re-watch the entire season, the more I appreciate episodes that aren't my favorites," Kara said.  "Sometimes it's just scenes where Dutch is absolutely kickass or Lucy is adorable…"

 

"Or those Jaqobis brothers…"

 

"They have  _ nothing _ on the Danvers sisters," Kara said as she squeezed Alex and dropping a kiss to her head.

 

"We both require warning labels, though…"

 

"True."

 

"Who would be our Dutch?"

 

"J'onn?"

 

Alex grinned at that.  "J'onn," she repeated.  "Maybe we shouldn't tell him that."

 

"Probably not...he'll make some kind of grumpy face."

 

"You could always just pout at him."

 

"It's not _ really _ a superpower, Alex!"

 

Laughing, she looked up at her sister.  "Could have fooled me."

 

"It has nothing with me being Kryptonian."

 

"No, it doesn't," she said gently.  "It has everything to do with you being Kara Danvers."

 

"I'm not sure how to take that."

 

"As a good thing," Alex insisted.  "Always."

 

"What is your superpower then?" 

 

"I'm just me, Kara."

 

"You've taken care of me all this time, Alex."

 

"You didn't really need me."

 

"I did...and I always will."

 

"And I will always need you."

 

Silence passed between them and for a moment, only the occasional noises the TV made as Kara went through the Amazon Video Library list filled the space between them.

 

"The weight of the world," Kara blurted out.

 

"What?"

 

"You always seem to carry the weight of the world.  That's your superpower."

 

"How?"

 

"You never let it crush you."

 

Alex just stared at her sister, unsure how to respond to that.  "I love you."

 

"I love you, too," Kara said.  The doorbell rang and her sister was immediately up to get the pizza.  "And you love me even more for pizza!"

 

She beamed at that.  "I do!"

 

It might sound stupid to anyone else, but this...quiet nights binge watching and eating their favorite things together was the best thing in the world for Alex and Kara.  It was something that Alex would never trade.  Two weeks ago, she had thought she was going to die...that she'd said her last goodbye to her sister.  She was alive and she had this second chance at life and she had told herself that she wasn't going to have any regrets, especially when it came to her relationship with her sister.  

 

"Okay!  Time for Dutch and the Jaqobis brothers," Kara declared as she set the pizza down on the coffee table.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The End.

  
  
  



End file.
